Friday, September 25, 2009

Why Did The Mailman Deliver This?

Oh, woe is me. What is wrong with Mom? Is she out of her mind? Again?

Mom took me out this afternoon to get the mail and this postcard was in the mailbox:

Mom: Look what the mailman brought today!
Stubby: More Popeye's coupons?
Mom: Silly Stubby! You have a one track mind. No the mailman did not deliver more Popeye's coupons. He brought this (stoops down to show me the postcard).
Stubby: Um, okay. Whatever. Can we go to the park?
Mom: This is a sign Stubby. Let's go show it to Daddy.
Stubby: Hello! I want to go to the park!
Mom: Later. We will go later. Daddy needs to see this. Maybe he has changed his mind about going there.
Stubby: Have you lost your mind woman? He's not going there. Ever. This is not a sign it's a postcard (trying to pull the leash away from the house toward the park).
Mom: Stubby let's go. In the house. Hurry!

Mom rushes us into the house and calls Dad into the kitchen to look at the postcard. She tells him that it's a sign. What does Dad do? He laughs.

Mom has dreamed of going to Antarctica forever. It's really the one cold place she wants to go. Everytime she brings it up, Dad reminds her how she hates the cold. Not this cold she says.

Just look at the back of this postcard "Spectacular savings on the best itinerary to Antarctica!" This sounds like Mom wrote it.

This is a 21 day trip! Mom is out of her mind if she thinks I'm letting her leave me for that long. I'll go crazy. I'll have to be committed. I'll die without her. Help!

Mom points to the unprecedented savings bullets. Save $6,000 per cabin! What? Do you know what I could do with $6,000? Besides eating Popeye's every day for the rest of my life, I could fly all my blogging friends to Chicago for a party and still have money left over.

There is absolutely no way Dad is going to Antarctica. There is also no way Dad is paying for Mom to go either. Dad has not and will never change his mind about this trip. He is convinced that there is nothing to see or do there and he will not go. Mom will either: a) have to win the lottery, b) get a real job, or c) get a new husband if she wants to go to Antarctica. I wouldn't bet on any of these options because none of them are going to happen. Mom will just have to dream up a vacation that Dad will go on. Hmmm. Where will Dad go? Maybe I can talk him into going back to Barkwells!

18 comments:

RILEY AND STAR said...

Some days the mailman can be the enemy! Hope you get to go on your walk?

Luv,
Riely and Star.

Stubby said...

Hi Riley & Star! That mailman is not my friend. He never brings me anything!

It's raining here now so I think I'm going to stay in. I don't like getting wet because I might melt.

Stubby xoxo

dw said...

Wow, that would be real cool (no pun intended) to go to Antarctica! I've gotten other travel brochures that have a trip there (as well as the Galapagos Islands). Would be way cool!!

Stubby said...

Hi dw! Mom and Dad traveled to the Galapagos Islands with this travel company and they loved it. Mom still talks about it all the time and is constantly asking if they can go back.

Stubby xoxo

Tweedles -- that's me... said...

Stubby, if they go to Antartica- (which I doubt) you can come stay with me? And we will walk and play everyday) You already know how much fun you would have. Course it would be nicer to be with your mom and dad.
love
tweedles

Oakley and Swisher said...

21 days? Yes that would be far too long to leave you!

Lots of Licks--
Oak and Swish

Salinger The Pug said...

Dude...don't worry, I think it was just JUNK MAIL so you can go ahead and chew it up.

I'm sure mailman will bring your Popeyes coupons today and mom will forget alllll about this silly idea of going to visit penguins when she has a perfectly sweet (and attention starved) Puggy at home.

Good luck man!

Love,
S-Dog

Stubby said...

Hi Tweedles! I would love to stay at your house while my parents go on vacation. I think you are right - they are not going to Antarctica anytime soon.

I will let you know when to send your magic bubble to my house to pick me up. Oh what fun we are going to have!

Stubby xoxo

Stubby said...

Hi Oakley & Swisher! 21 days is like an eternity! I told Mom that if she leaves me for that long that I will run away. I don't know if she believes me but I am serious. Maybe I can come live with you guys.

Stubby xoxo

Stubby said...

Hey Salinger! The Popeye's coupons did come today. How funny is that? I think Dad we may use one tonight to go get dinner but I don't want to beg and plead just yet. I am trying to tone things down a bit.

I told Mom that I wanted to stay with you the next time they go on vacation. Mom wants to take a vacation every month (not happening), but I think there is one in the works right now. I don't know where they're going but I'm pretty sure I'm not going with.

Stubby xoxo

Heather and Walter said...

Hey, did you ever look into working on a cruise ship? They need teachers/assistants of all kinds. Here's a few sites:

www.cruisejobfinder.com, www.WorkOnCruiseShips.com, www.cruiselinejob.com
www.shipjobs.com.

Or go directly to the cruise line's homepage and click on employment opportunities. Don't give up on this dream!!!

Stubby said...

Hi Heather & Walter! I will give Mom the links about working on a cruise ship. I'm not sure Dad would go for it, but it's worth a try.

Mom looked into working in Antarctica a few years ago at one of the research stations. She wasn't qualified to do much and soon decided it wasn't worth pursuing.

Stubby xoxo

Hank said...

Stub, buddy....moms have some crazy ideas sometimes, don't they? Whut the heck does yer mom need with penquins and polar bears when she's got YOU???

Now I say git her (and yerself) some Popeyes an' she'll fergit all about that fool notion.

Stubby said...

Hey Hank! My mom is always out of her mind. I keep telling her that I am more exciting than a bunch of penguins. She needs to stay home with me and feed me more Popeyes!

Stubby xoxo

Sandra y Coco said...

Hi Stubby! Mom had a lot of dreams that she had to give up when she decided to stay with daddy here. Moms are silly dreaming so much... why dream when we pugs are their most beautiful dream come true? Mom's cousin is an engineer in fishes (mom doesn't know how to say that in english) and he's been in Antarctica many times. He is the dean and professor at mom's university (he's been the President's assesor in fishies issues too!) and he has sent his best students to do research projects over there every year. I guess it is easier, Peru is closer and has a station there.

Stubby said...

Hi Coco! That's so cool that you mom's cousin has been to Antarctica many times. Maybe he can take Mom - she likes fishes.

It is true that Peru is much closer to Antarctica than the U.S., but Mom still wants to go.

Our moms need to stay home with us where they are needed. The penguins don't need Mom - I do!

Stubby xoxo

Melissa and Emmitt said...

hi stubby!
oh what a cute post!

i am sending you a book of colorado postcards and photos of me and my house, with a map, and mini meatloaves. please plant them all over the house so your mom and dad will get the idea to take a family trip with all of you here!

ps... the meatloaves are for you for planting all the signs!!

xoxoxox
emmitt

Stubby said...

Hi Emmitt! Thanks for the postcards, maps, pictures, and meatloaves. I think putting them all over the house worked because Mom said that she cannot resist your super cute mug.


Mom and Dad were talking about going to a place in Aspen (Hotel Jerome) that allows dogs for Thanksgiving. The only problem is that it is a long drive and they don't think I would be up for it. I told them as long as we can stop and see Emmitt on our way back home, I'm in!

Stubby xoxo