I'm Too Skinny!

I usually don't do two blogs in a row about myself but everypug has been asking how my vet visit went. To borrow a phrase from my good friend Tweedles, what's a Stubby to do but tell everypug what the vet said?

First I have to tell you that Dr. Chung tried to convince me that Dasuquin was a new treat that I would love, but I wasn't buying it. I know what treats smell like and this thing was mediciney. Pooey! One lick and I turned my cute pug nose up in the air and asked where the Popeyes was. I know that eating these mediciney things will help me walk better but why can't they make them Popeyes flavored?

Okay, so back to my visit. The first thing the vet tech did when I arrived was weigh me - on a cat scale. Why I wasn't weighed on a normal dog scale I have no idea. Mom thinks the scale was a little off because it said I weigh 16.3 lbs. OMD! The last time I was on the scale it read 19.1 lbs. That was back in December so I've lost almost 3 lbs. without even trying. That's not good.

Dr. Chung was so excited about my weight loss saying over and over again how great I looked. She was also concerned that I haven't been dieting to lose weight. She asked Mom if she could take my blood just to make sure that I'm okay. Mom said yes of course before I could say no.

Mom also asked about my cooties. The only one that Dr. Chung was a little worried about was my arm cootie. She took a real good look at it, scratched it and then remarked that it was raised. She mentioned something about melanoma and said that dogs get it just like people do. I immediately thought of my good pal Salinger when she mentioned melanoma because that guy is constantly tanning. His belly is as black as tar and I don't think he wears sunscreen. Dr. Chung's advice was to watch the cootie and call if it changes.

I couldn't wait to get home because Mom said she'd give me a real treat. I was very tired after my treat but I had to help Mom with some planting. She is trying to get everything in the ground before she leaves for her trip.

When Dr. Chung asked about the Tramadol Mom told her that I refuse to take it. Dr. Chung said to put it in butter. What? Butter? Are you kidding me? Mom just shook her head and asked if there was something else she could prescribe so now I have a sample of little Tramadols that are supposedly beef flavored. We'll see if I take one tomorrow morning but I wouldn't bet the house on it. Beef flavored or not, it's still medicine and I hate it.

Dad does not want me to mention that I may or may not have poopied in the house when I got back home. Mom asked me ever so nicely to poopy outside but for some reason I decided to go inside - in the living room. I know that Pearl is super proud of me but Mom is concerned. I never poopy in the house - never. Okay maybe I have a few times in my entire 13 years on this planet but never after having been outside all day. Dad found my poopy and told Mom that it was really hard. Hmmmm. I just thought the living room was looking a little empty and that it needed some shartwork. Sheesh people!

I'm so sorry Mom. I didn't mean to maybe leave you some shartwork in the living room. I'm also sorry you got teary eyed after the vet tech weighed me. I know that you take the best care of me and that you do everything in your power to keep me healthy and safe but I'm too skinny. You need to feed me more and more often. We can start right now with a quick trip to the Popeyes drive-thru. I promise not to tell Dr. Chung when she calls tomorrow with the results of my bloodwork. It will be our little secret, okay?

Thank you to all my friends who have left comments about my cooties. I will let you guys know if my bloodwork shows anything strange and if my arm cootie gets any bigger. I asked Dad to take a picture of me and Mom because we don't have a lot of pictures of the two of us. Please excuse Mom's hair, face, and body because she had just come in from gardening.

Please excuse Dad's awful iphone photography skills. I put this picture in here because I look, in the words of my good buddy Puglet, extrasupercute.