Saturday, May 9, 2009


I really thought I had a great plan to go to Emmitt's house when I stormed out of the house last night, but as luck would have it, my plans did not pan out. Foiled again. Mom, as usual, won.

My plan was to race to the airport and buy a ticket aboard PetAirways. This new airline is a pet-only airline dedicated to pet-friendly travel. No cargo area for me. Nope. I will be chilling in the main cabin. With no people on board, besides the pet attendants, it is the perfect way for pets to travel. They fly out of an airport just a few towns over and their website said that they fly to Denver - perfect!I have never been on an airplane before, but I am not afraid to fly like Mom. I don't know how she ever goes anywhere because everywhere she wants to go she has to fly. This plane looked pretty spiffy to me and the inside cabin looked right up my alley. Mom would say that it is the "I think I can" airplane because it has propellers instead of jet engines. Remind her to tell you about the time she had to get on an "I think I can" plane after it landed on the beach in a third world country. Priceless!

What I failed to check on their website in my mad rush to get the heck out of Dodge, was that they don't start flying until July. July? I need to go to Denver now! The party will be over by July! The meatloaf will be gone! I will die of starvation!

There was nothing I could do except go back home, with my tail between my legs, and act like nothing had happened. I would act like I had just taken a really long walk, by myself, in the rain. Maybe Mom won't even notice that I have been gone so long. Maybe she's already in bed. Maybe she is on looking for a new pug. Oh, no! What have I done?

I raced home and found Mom crying hysterically. She almost fainted when she saw me sulk back through the door, all wet and dirty, shivering from the cold. "Stubby! My baby boy! I'm so glad you're back home safe and sound. Don't ever leave like that again!" Mom shrieked. She picked me up and hugged me so tight that I think she rung all the water out of me. She could not stop crying.

Dad walked in the room and rescued me and even he had tears in his eyes. He told me that Mom had called the police, the FBI, the CIA, and Scotland Yard after I left. She was certain that someone had snuck inside the house and stolen me because I would never run away, especially in the rain. After he dried me off and calmed Mom down, we all climbed into bed and fell soundly asleep.

Mom was still so upset this morning that she told me that I didn't have to fast anymore. Sir Richard could stand to lose a few pounds, so let him do it she said. Yeah! I can eat again! As Mom poured that last bits of food into my bowl I wondered if she planned on taking me to Popeye's tonight or if she had something else planned. Her and Dad left after lunch to do some shopping, so I decided to catch up on my sleep.

When Mom and Dad got home, I ran to the door to greet them, like the good pug I am. Mom had a huge smile on her face and I knew that something was up. She told me to come into the garage for a minute because she wanted to show me something. I hope she didn't buy a new car or something dumb like that because I wasn't interested in another car that I wasn't allowed to ride in.

I walked down the steps and turned my head toward where she was standing and that's when I saw it. My food! My Bil Jac was in the house! Yippee! I did my little pug dance and could not stop smiling as I danced around the wonderful 30 pound bag of yumminess.

I hope that Emmitt understands why I couldn't make it to the party. Maybe he could ship me some meatloaf and we could Skype, so it would be just like having me at the party.


Unknown said...

*Annie shakes her head in disgust*

Stubby said...

Howie - you crack me up! I can't believe it - a skyping pug! I'm farting right now (much to Mom's dismay) and I'm sure you'll hear it because Mom said that people across the big pond will hear it too (I don't think that's a compliment).
Stubby xoxo