Friday, May 8, 2009

Poor Stubby!

As I was eating dinner tonight, Mom informed me that I am almost out of dog food. What? Almost out? Run to the store - quick! Get more food now! I told Mom that if I run out of food, she will have to make me scrambled eggs for breakfast and drive me to Popeye's every day for chicken. That's just how I roll.

As you can see, the food in the container is all that I have left. I'm sure this will not last the weekend, so unless Mom jumps in the car right now and drives to PetSmart, I am doomed. You do not want a hungry Stubby in the house, trust me. I get very grumpy when I am hungry and I have been known to - well I cannot tell you what I have done in the past because it's not pretty. Just trust me on this one.

I was so mad when I finished eating, that I turned my cute butt toward Mom, the camera, and what's left of my food, and ran to find Dad. He is very logical and has been known to talk some sense into Mom. I pleaded with him to get Mom to take the fastest car available and race to the store right away. This is an emergency!

Of course, there was no talking any sense into Mom today. She kept saying how tired she was and that she had a headache. She had a long day at the zoo today and just didn't feel like going anywhere tonight. I am going to starve, woman!

Since Mom wasn't listening to me or Dad, I decided to go into the family room and ignore her. The cold shoulder was just what she deserved along with some very loud barking. She tried to play with me, but I grabbed my Buddy Dog and played with him instead. I even made her get up off the sofa and let me out and then back in the house several times, just to make her mad. I think all this 'Mom abuse' worked just a little too good because not only is she not going to buy me any food tonight, but she connconted a scheme to get back at me once and for all. Yikes!

You may or may not of heard that Mia Farrow has been on a hunger strike for the past twelve days to raise awareness for the horrible crisis unfolding in Darfur with the removal of 13 international aid agencies. She is fasting to ask world leaders to take immediate action and demand that international aid is restored. Hundreds of people around the world have joined her in fasting, in a show of solidarity.

The fast had been going well for Mia until today. Mia has been instructed by her doctor to stop fasting immediately, due to serious health concerns. The people of Darfur are starving, or as the website Darfur Fast for Life says, they are fasting without option. These people do not have food and now that the government has removed 13 international aid agencies, it does not look like they will have food anytime soon.

Now that Mia can no longer continue her fast, Sir Richard Branson has stepped in to take over the fast for her. Mom loves Sir Richard, so to save him from serious health concerns, she has decided that I will continue Mia Farrow's fast. What? Me, fast?

Mom tried to put a positive spin on the fast, like only she can do, telling me that fasting would be good for me because I would lose a few pounds. This will make the doctor happy and will make me feel better. Are you kidding me?

It's not that I am not sensitive to the people in Darfur and their situation, but I cannot fast. I can send them some food (if I can find some) or send them a check (if I can write one), but fast I cannot do. What am I going to do? Someone save me!

Okay, Stubby, snap out of it and figure it out! Think! Just then the wheels in my cute head started spinning, all the neurons firing simultaneously, and it was at that moment when the light bulb went off over my head. Eureka! The plan of all plans, the most foolproof plan, the plan that Mom cannot ruin. I'm going to Partypalooza!

I told Emmitt I was coming, but I have been so busy working for slave driver Mom, that I haven't been able to get away this week. I am done working for the man, so I am heading to Colorado where there is plenty of food! I will be leaving tonight (asap) and I will be following Tweedles marshmallow trail all the way to Emmitt's house. Here I am saying goodbye to Dad before I head out. I didn't say goodbye to Mom, but Dad told her that I was so mad that I may not come back.

I know that Emmitt has a computer and a super fast Internet connection at his house, so if I have time between eating helping after helping of meatloaf, I will update my blog. While I am traveling tomorrow, please remember to Stamp Out Hunger by participating in the USPS food drive. Check out all the details here. My girlfriend Pearl has already collected some food to give to her mailman and I am hoping all my other blogging pals will collect some too.


Sandra y Coco said...

hi Stubby! we learn so many things through your blog... mom now is worried about Darfur. I hope help goes back there soon. We didnt know about the food drive, either, until we read it on Pearly's blog.
I am glad you are coming to the party with us!!! you are going to have sooo muuuuuch fuuuun! and you can take a piece of meatloaf home for your mom for mother's day!

Salinger The Pug said...


Wow...there's a lot going on in that puggy brain of yours!

Clearly you've made the right choice in leaving to teach mom a lesson. Perhaps Sir Richard (my mom loves him too!) will invite you to his private Necker Island for a nice long vacation and you can bring ALL your puggy friends along and we can eat meatloaf on the beach all day long!

That ought to fix mom's little red wagon!!!

Good luck!


Stubby said...

Hi Coco - I'm so glad that you learn things from my blog. Things in Darfur have got to get better soon because George Clooney is involved and everyone loves him.

There has been a slight problem with my party plans, but I'm glad you are having a great time. Save me some meatloaf.

Stubby xoxo

Stubby said...

Salinger - You are so right - there is so much going on inside my little puggy brain. I have been hanging around Mom too long and my head is about to explode from the information she feeds me.

There has been a little problem with my original plan of escaping to the party, so I am still at home. Maybe we can ship our moms to Necker Island so that they can hang with Sir Richard. I don't know what they see in him - he is not half as handsome as us.

Stubby xoxo